“Who to Contact” or “Whom to Contact”

During my years of teaching English, one of the most common questions from speakers has been about who and whom and whether they’re using the right one. It’s a classic debate, especially when we casually say “Who should I call?” in everyday conversation, but then wonder if that should become “Whom should I call?” in formal writing. What adds to the confusion is how commonly used who has become, even when it’s not grammatically perfect. So when someone asks “Who to Contact or Whom to Contact?” the distinction may feel small, but it has a real effect on how clear and effective your communication sounds.

I remind my students that this rule still matters in certain contexts, even as language shifts. What used to be a strict grammar rule now adjusts to the tone of the moment, casual or polished. Still, knowing both helps you write in a way that’s both natural and correct. Whether it’s a quick email or a formal guide, choosing wisely shows your message has precision.

Understanding the Confusion: “Who” vs “Whom”

At the heart of the confusion lies the grammatical roles these pronouns play:

• Who: Subject pronoun; acts.
• Whom: Object pronoun; receives the action.

Examples:

• Who is calling? (He is calling.)
• Whom did you see? (I saw him.)

A simple trick is to replace the pronoun with “he” or “him”: if “he” fits, use “who”; if “him” fits, use “whom”.

The Traditional Grammar Rules

Traditional grammar dictates the use of “who” and “whom” based on their function in a sentence.

Subject vs. Object:

• Subject (Who): Acts.
  • Who wrote the letter?
• Object (Whom): Receives the action.
  • To whom was the letter addressed?

Quick Reference Table:

Pronoun	Function	Example
Who	Subject	Who is attending the meeting?
Whom	Object	Whom did you invite to dinner?

Modern Usage Trends and Preferences

In contemporary English, the use of “whom” has declined, especially in spoken language. Many native speakers opt for “who” in most contexts, even when “whom” is grammatically correct.

Reasons for the Shift:

• Complexity: “Whom” can seem overly formal or archaic.
• Clarity: “Who” is more straightforward and widely understood.
• Language Evolution: English tends to simplify over time, favoring ease of use.

Why “Whom” Is Falling Out of Favor

Several factors contribute to the diminishing use of “whom”:

• Informality: Casual conversations rarely require strict grammatical adherence.
• Education: Grammar instruction has shifted focus, with less emphasis on prescriptive rules.
• Media Influence: Modern media often prioritizes accessibility over formality.

Despite this trend, “whom” still holds value in certain contexts, particularly in formal writing and legal documents.

Professional Communication: Which Form to Use

In professional settings, choosing between “who” and “whom” depends on the desired tone and audience.

When to Use “Whom”:

• Formal correspondence (e.g., cover letters, official reports).
• Legal or academic writing.
• After prepositions (e.g., “to whom it may concern”).

When “Who” Is Acceptable:

• Internal communications.
• Emails and memos.
• Marketing materials targeting a broad audience.

Example:

• To whom should I address the invoice? (Formal)
• Who should I send this to? (Informal)

The Role of Formality in Choosing Between “Who” and “Whom”

Formality plays a significant role in determining the appropriate pronoun. In formal contexts, adhering to traditional grammar rules enhances credibility and professionalism. Conversely, in informal settings, flexibility is often acceptable.

Formality Spectrum:

Context	Preferred Pronoun
Academic paper	Whom
Business email	Who
Casual conversation	Who
Legal document	Whom

Seeking Formal Guidance: When to Stick with “Whom”

Certain style guides and institutions advocate for the correct use of “whom” in formal writing. For instance, the Associated Press (AP) and the Chicago Manual of Style provide guidelines on pronoun usage.

Key Recommendations:

• Use “whom” when it functions as the object of a verb or preposition.
• Maintain consistency throughout the document.
• Consider the expectations of the target audience.

Matching Pronouns with Verbs: Understanding the Grammar

Understanding the relationship between pronouns and verbs is crucial for proper usage.

He/Him Test:

• Replace the pronoun with “he” or “him”:
  • If “he” fits, use “who”.
  • If “him” fits, use “whom”.

Examples:

• Who/Whom is going to the meeting?
  • He is going. → “Who” is correct.
• To/whom should I send the report?
  • I should send the report to him. → “Whom” is correct.

Is “Whom” Still Necessary? Examining Current Standards

While “whom” is less prevalent in everyday language, it remains relevant in specific contexts. Its usage can convey formality, precision, and respect for traditional grammar.

Considerations:

• Audience: Use “whom” when addressing individuals who value grammatical accuracy.
• Purpose: In legal, academic, or official documents, “whom” is often preferred.
• Clarity: In complex sentences, “whom” can clarify the sentence structure.

Who or Whom in Digital Communication: Does It Matter?

In digital communication, the line between formal and informal language often blurs. However, understanding the appropriate usage of “who” and “whom” can enhance clarity and professionalism.

Platform Considerations:

Platform	Recommended Usage
LinkedIn	Whom
Twitter	Who
Company Website FAQ	Who
Academic Email	Whom

How Technology Impacts Grammar Choices

Technology influences language use, including pronoun selection. Grammar-checking tools and writing assistants can help identify proper usage.

Tools:

• Grammarly: Offers real-time grammar suggestions.
• Microsoft Editor: Provides grammar and style recommendations.
• Hemingway Editor: Highlights complex sentences and passive voice.

These tools can assist in maintaining grammatical accuracy, especially in professional writing.

Final Recommendations: Opting for Clarity in Your Communications

When deciding between “who” and “whom,” consider the following:

• Audience: Tailor your language to the expectations of your readers.
• Context: Use “whom” in formal settings; “who” is acceptable in informal contexts.
• Clarity: Prioritize clear and concise communication.

Ultimately, effective communication hinges on understanding your audience and conveying your message.

Quick Reference Table

Situation	Recommended Use	Example
Formal business letter	Whom	To whom it may concern
Customer service website FAQ	Who	Who can I contact for support?
Spoken inquiry	Who	Who should I talk to?
Resume/Cover letter phrasing	Whom	The person to whom it may concern

Related Grammar Confusions Explained

• Meager vs. Meagre: “Meager” is the American spelling; “meagre” is British. Both mean lacking in quantity or quality.
• Illegal vs. Illicit: “Illegal” refers to something against the law; “illicit” pertains to something forbidden by rules or customs.
• Behavior vs. Behaviour: “Behavior” is American English; “behaviour” is British English.
• Accept vs. Except: “Accept” means to receive; “except” means to exclude.
• Hart vs. Heart: “Hart” is an archaic

Final Thoughts

The debate between “who to contact” and “whom to contact” boils down to one key idea: grammar meets real-world usage. While “whom” is technically correct in many formal contexts, “who” dominates in everyday speech and most digital communications. Understanding the grammar behind each term helps you make informed choices, especially when writing for different audiences.

If using “whom” adds confusion or sounds overly stiff, it’s perfectly acceptable to go with “who”-especially if you’re writing informally or for a general audience. For formal writing, especially in business, academia, or legal contexts, sticking with “whom” where appropriate can show a stronger grasp of traditional grammar rules and attention to detail.

In the end, your choice should reflect both the tone of your message and the expectations of your reader. Know the rules, then bend them where necessary to communicate clearly and effectively.

FAQs

What is the correct phrase: “Who to contact” or “Whom to contact”?

Grammatically, “whom to contact” is correct because “whom” functions as the object of the verb “contact.” However, “who to contact” is widely accepted in informal contexts and modern English usage. Use “whom” in formal writing and “who” in casual speech or general digital content.

How can I tell whether to use “who” or “whom”?

Use the “he/him” test:

• Replace the word in question with “he” or “him.”
• If “he” fits, use “who” (subject).
• If “him” fits, use “whom” (object).
  Example:
• Whom should I contact? → I should contact him → “Whom” is correct.
• Who is calling? → He is calling → “Who” is correct.

Is it wrong to use “who” instead of “whom”?

Not necessarily. While “whom” is technically correct in some situations, most native speakers use “who” almost exclusively in conversation and even in writing. Many grammar experts and style guides now accept “who” in place of “whom” in informal and semi-formal contexts. It’s more important to prioritize clarity and tone than to follow strict rules every time.

When should I always use “whom”?

Use “whom” when:

• You are writing formal emails, legal documents, or academic papers.
• The pronoun follows a preposition (e.g., “To whom it may concern”).
• The grammar calls for an object form.
  It’s best to use “whom” in settings where professionalism and grammatical precision matter.

Does using “whom” make me sound old-fashioned?

It can-if used excessively or in casual contexts. Overusing “whom” where “who” would sound more natural, may come off as pretentious or outdated. However, using it correctly in formal writing signals strong language skills and attention to detail. It’s about knowing when and why to use it, not avoiding it altogether.